The Thing Nice Girls Don’t Get
This, from my notes app 3am brain dump. I’ve been waking at that time with a lot of words already formed in my head. This feels like one of the better outputs!
People don’t want your gentle lies to smooth over their feelings.
We want your truth.
We want to see you speak life into your needs.
We want to see you steady in your knowing.
Don’t show us how much we can push you around. Don’t willingly offer yourself up to be taken advantage of (and then quietly resent it when someone does.)
If you don’t like something we won’t be offended if you say so, but lying to us will. Even when the lie is a harmless bending-of-the-truth to protect our feelings.
Doing that puts up a wall and it’s more obvious that you think.
We don’t want you to protect our feelings, we want you to protect the integrity of our relationship by honouring us with the truth of how you really feel.
Nice girls dream of being chosen, of someone seeing their tenderness. What they don’t realise is, we already do.
Nice girls look like strong, loving women on the outside. How often the nicest girl you know ends up in the most manipulative relationships.
Nice girls trade on not having needs but what they don’t realise is you can’t earn the right to have needs by making them invisible first.
Nice girls will gaslight themselves into believing anything, if it means not having to face reality and their need for change.
Do you have something to add about nice girls? Do you see yourself in any of these or maybe something you used to do but have grown on from? I can’t wait to hear from you!
Aunty Chell x
For those done with being a nice girl and ready to meet your too-much self, I have a few things in the works. That includes an online workshop and I’m opening up my 1-1 coaching books again after the school holidays. If you know you’d like to begin, send me a note and let’s chat about what that looks like for you. With the right support, imagine what could change for you by the end of next term! xx